Second date: Suhani and Mohit #2
The late-lunch with Mohit went well. He made me blush and most of all, there weren’t any awkward silences. I have agreed to give him a chance. Why shouldn’t I? What am I waiting for? Isn’t it the next logical thing?
That reminds me- I have to call Mom. She would be freaking out by now. It’s 9 and the last I spoke to her was at 6:15. I am impressed by the patience she has been keeping.
“Hey, Mom! I am driving back now. Sorry it got late.”, I say as soon she picks up.
She just jumps to the point, “Were you with him this whole time? Do you like him? Should I tell your father?”
I smile at her excitement and reply, “Yes, we left cafe at 8. I dropped him at his place and since it’s far and the traffic is erratic at this hour, it took me one hour. I just dropped him and drove a little farther from his place to call you.”
She reiterated her concern again, “You didn’t answer me! Should I tell your father? Do you like him?”
I can feel her heart pounding. I collect myself and draw a deep breath before saying, “He is a nice guy. We have decided to talk more. Mom, please, please until then, hold your horses. You may tell Dad but, please, don’t go on planning things as yet. Give me some time.”
I could tell she is elated because she called out to my father and did exactly opposite of what I wanted her to do. My father snatched the phone from her and asked me the same question. I did my best to persuade him to stick to the plan. He agreed. I don’t know why but my father is way more rational than my mother. They both start talking over each other after a point, and I could have been screaming for all they cared. I decided to cut the call by saying in jest, “If I was home, I would have ran away but since I am not, I am cutting the call. Love you! Don’t plan the wedding, yet. Good night! Bye!”
I could hear my mother say, “Don’t take long.” But I cut the call before she could add anything more.
I open navigation and put my address. I know the roads faintly but being cautious does no harm.
It takes me few seconds to dive into my thoughts again. I am, surprisingly, not upset that I missed my gig today. The one hour drive with Mohit went well. We talked. Just talked.
Thought: What are you waiting for? What is bothering you?
Counter-thought: I don’t know. Do I know him enough to say 'yes'?
Thought: You are being unreasonable. It is how arranged marriages work. You meet and no matter what past holds or future brings, you agree for a life long of negotiations.
Counter-thought: Actually, you’re right. There is nothing to wait for. Mohit deserves a fair chance. He has shown interest and I find him interesting. Maybe a date or two and I will tell Mom.
After I reach home, I somehow finish the pending proofreading by 2. The day was so tiring that I simply lean towards the bed and let gravity take care of the rest. I never sleep so late and I know my routine is going to be messed up tomorrow. Next time, Mohit will have to take a cab back to his place. I cannot drive 40 minutes from his place to mine. The drive back is boring and tiring.
I check my phone one last time and there is a message from him. It’s time stamped 10:30pm- “Hey! It was nice meeting you today. Thanks for the ride back. I hope you didn’t get stuck in traffic on your way back.”
I reply, “Hey! I had good time, too. We should do this again. Like I said before, you don’t need to thank me for the ride. Luckily, there wasn’t much traffic and I could reach back by 10.”
I still have the phone in my hand when it buzzes. It’s Mohit. I am surprised to find him awake. The message reads, “We should definitely do it again.” Before I could reply, I got another three dots flashing on my screen and then pop: “Do you mind if I call you now?” Three dots again but they disappear soon. I think he is trying to salvage the moment but he is unable to come up with the right words. I find it funny in ways I cannot explain. I reply: “Sure :)”
He immediately calls. It was a voice call but I still sat up.
Me: “Hey! You didn’t sleep? I thought professors were more disciplined than this.” I chuckle at the stereotypical humour.
Mohit: “Haha! I usually sleep by 2 but when I saw your message, I thought sleep is going to evade me and I should talk to you some more.”
Me: “That’s so cheesy.” I say it but don’t mean it. All the blood rushes to my cheeks.
Mohit: “It’s true. I might not be articulate enough to say it right but it’s what I felt.” He says with utmost candour.
Me: “Well! That’s good that you can speak your mind. Now tell me, what do you want to talk about?”
Mohit: “We spoke about our families and work life. I want to know about your friends now. Someone I should be impressing before making any move on you- like a best friend or protective guy friend? Haha!”
I need to get comfortable with his ‘haha’. It’s very weird for me but, admittedly, it’s one of his eccentricities which might grow on me.
Me: “I do have friends but none that you need to impress. You do, however, have to impress me before making any move. It is going to be Herculean task for you. If I like you, my friends will like you.” I let out a laugh.
Mohit: “Oh! Is that so? So tell me Ms. Suhani, what should a guy, like me, do to impress you?”
I know he is smiling but I don’t know what I should reply. I was just teasing around. I smile and say, “It’s going to be a long process. We can start by being ourselves. You can ask me anything and expect an honest answer. For the same reasons, I suggest, don’t ask things that you aren’t comfortable knowing right away. Please do not expect me to ask a lot of questions. You can tell me things in your own sweet time. I won’t judge you- most of the times. Haha!”
Did I just say 'haha'? He is starting to grow on me. I can feel the heat radiating from my cheeks now.
Mohit: “Sure! That works perfectly well with me.”
We then talk about his friends and the movies we like. I didn’t realise when I leaned against the headboard of the bed and fell asleep. I wake up at 8 in a daze. My phone was in my lap but I certainly do not remember cutting the call. I think I dozed off somewhere in the middle of the conversation.
I quickly open my messages and shoot him a text: “Hey! Sorry! I don’t know when I fell asleep. I didn’t mean to be rude but I have never stayed up so late. Sorry, again.”
He immediately replies, “Morning, sleepy head! You weren’t rude at all. Next time we will talk little early. I am on my way to the University. I will text you later.”
Me: “Sure! Have a great day!”
Mohit: “You too. :)”
I have nothing else to add to it and so I keep my phone aside. I slide down to properly lie down. I close my eyes and it takes me less than five seconds to fall asleep again. It’s going to be a lazy day.
I wake up when my phone rings. It’s Mohit. He just messaged me to have a good day. Why is he calling? Doesn’t he have work? I thought he wasn’t supposed to use his phone until lunch. I pick the call and in my sleepy voice, I say, “Hey! How come you are using your phone while working?”
Mohit must have guessed I just woke up because he laughs and says, “God! Does the non-professor clan sleep this late? It’s lunch time already. Did you not get up at all? Your mother had called you but you didn’t answer. She called my mother, enquiring if I knew where you were. I told them not to worry as I had guessed you must be asleep. They expected me to come and check on you, I think. Haha! What a fun thing that would have been! I would have had a chance to see your place at least and since you refused to see mine last night, I would have liked it very much.”
While he was talking I checked my phone and saw two calls from my mother. I obviously was too sleepy to have picked her call. I quickly messaged her: “Just woke up. Got late because of work. Sorry! Will call you after I freshen up.”
I reply to Mohit: “Oh god! I never stay in bed so long. I just texted my mother. She will understand." My tone shifts to a more playful one and I say, "Are all professors this condescending? It was just one day that I got so late, thanks to the late night unexpected call. By the way, how come you are so active? Did you get any sleep at all?”
Mohit: “Haha! I am sure the unexpected call was very important. Haha! Well! We were talking till 5:30 when I realised that I was the only one talking for last 10 minutes. I think I slept at 6 and woke up at 7. I have decided to leave by 2 as I don’t have any more classes. Urmm.. well…”
Me: “What? Tell me!”
Mohit: “I do have classes scheduled but I asked one other professor to take the class, instead.”
Me: “Why? Are you that tired?”
Mohit: “I am tired but.. You said honest replies is what you want so.. After I saw my mother’s message about you at lunch time, I thought I will come to check on you as you weren’t picking. Now that it’s all set and done, I will have to leave as I told them there is an emergency. Haha! I will book the cab now and go home.”
Me: “That was so nice of you.” So, the cheeky comment about visiting my place was more of a concern. I don't know if it's possible but I think I am floating in the clouds.
I look at the time. It’s 1:40. I have an urge to say something that is contrary to my nature and yet, I do. “Mohit, if you are booking the cab, why don’t you come to my place. You can have your lunch here.”
He sounded tensed and said, “Are you sure?”
I giggle and say, “I am sure.”
I think he smiles but doesn't reply.
Me: “Come over. I will book the cab for you as it will be convenient to put the exact address.”
Mohit: “Well! Send me the details of the driver.”
Me: “Great! Bye!”
I immediately cut the call and book a cab for him. I quickly turn on the water heater. I send him the details. He sends a thumbs up. I quickly brush and freshen up. Before going into the shower, I check my phone. He is in the cab and their ETA is 20 minutes. God! My heart is racing! 20 minutes to shower, dress-up and clean the house. It’s a race against time. I quickly shower and wash my hair. I open my wardrobe and see my traditional clothes are all crumbled. Yesterday, while choosing the pink suit, I torpedoed my Indian wear section. All my jeans are good but all I can pair them with are crop-tops. The thought of wearing a crop-top in front of a professor just didn't sit well with me. I don’t have time to deliberate much and so I choose a yellow skater dress with blue orchid print. It’s comfortable and has the right length where it falls just little below my knees. I check my phone again. ETA 5 mins. I quickly towel dry my hair. I fold my blanket and make my bed in what seems like Flash-speed and run to the living room with my phone. I check again- ETA 1 min. They are pulling in the driveway. My living room is clean enough. The advantage of having a 1 BHK house is that you can clean it in less than 5 minutes. I clean the dining table that separates my kitchen and living room and rush to the balcony. He is here.
The cab driver leaves and I step out to let him know the house he is supposed to come in. There is only one other house that shares the driveway. The owners don't live here and so it is vacant. He lights up seeing me. I have no makeup on. No earrings. Just slightly wet hair and the simplest dress I could find.
He is wearing a plain white shirt and slate grey pants with black shoes. His hair looks impeccable. We both have black hair but the sun rays are making his hair shine. The Sundays are falling on his face. He has a small backpack. I wonder what he has in it. Maybe books or answer sheets. After all, what could be the most interesting thing a professor would carry? I smile at the thought.
As he walks into the shadow of the house, I see his eyes. They have incandescent affection as they are carefully studying me. I don't know how to react. We just met yesterday. I don't even know how to greet him. A hug could be too familiar and a handshake too formal. Although a firm handshake does go with his business attire. I almost laugh. I just wave and say, ”Hi! Come on in.”
I walk inside the house even before he could step on the porch. I just wanted to avoid that awkward hug or handshake. I could hear him say, “Hi!”
We walk in to the living room. He removes his shoes and socks by the door. Points for that.
I am at the dining table when I see him. My father’s house slippers are at the shoe rack and I ask him to use those. I can tell it’s a little small for him.
He looks around. I feel like he is judging me from my place. It’s fine. I would have done the same thing. I say, “You will have plenty of time to grade my place, professor! For now you can keep your bag on the chair in the living room.”
While keeping his bag on the chair, Mohit turns around and says, “Haha! Can we get past the professor thing already now?”
Me: “How can I, if all I ever see you is in those formal clothes? No 29 year old dresses so formally all the time. This is our second date and I haven't seen you in any laid back attire. I mean do you sleep in those clothes?” I laugh.
Mohit: “That’s not a fair thing to say. You keep insisting on meeting me immediately after office hours! What am I to do? But I have come up with a solution.” He smiles wickedly.
Are we going there? If a hug is soon, a shirtless stint in my apartment is definitely sooner. I gasp at the thought and my eyes widen. I immediately say, “Dude! Don’t go shirtless as yet! It’s way too soon!”
He looks confused but then starts laughing. We both are still standing at two ends of the room but he starts walking towards me and says, “God! I meant after yesterday, I decided to keep a few t-shirts in my locker. I realised we are going to have many late lunches in future because of your no-dinner rule.” He stops just across the table from me.
I laugh in embarrassment and cover my face with my palms. He laughs. He then says, “So? If it’s not too soon, may I change into my t-shirt which I smartly planned to carry in my bag?"
I simply nod in embarrassment. He continues, "I will need a place to change. Preferably, a closed room because a dude wouldn’t want to be eye-candied by a girl this soon. Haha!”
My cheeks are red and I giggle. I point towards my room. He takes his t-shirt and goes in. I take my phone and call my mother. I don’t tell her Mohit is here but I do tell her that he called. She asks me when am I going to meet him again but like a teenager I giggle and say, “Soon. Very soon.” She laughs and tells me all she did during the day. It takes her 10 minutes to sum it all up. It is then that I hear my bedroom door open. I quickly tell her that I have to get back to work when, in fact, I don’t even know where my laptop is.
Mohit walks out in a solid navy blue t-shit. He is wearing the same grey pants. He must have washed his face because he has fringes of wet hair falling on his face. His hair looks a little messy. I am definitely not getting professor vibes now. He looks a lot younger than he did a few minutes ago. I can see his chiseled arms. The flabby shirt was hiding his strong arms. I find it hard to look away from those. He smiles and notices where I am looking. He flexes his arms to give me a better view. I chortle at the obvious embarrassing thing I just did. He laughs, too; not the onomatopoeia couple of ha-ha, but a proper laugh.
He says, “If the eye candy part is over, may I present my food for you to grade?”
Meanwhile, he goes towards his bag and takes out his lunch.
I go to the refrigerator and take out my lunch from yesterday. We meet at the table. I deliberately sit from across him. There are plates on the table and we both put out the lunch before us.
I suddenly am not feeling hungry. My stomach is turning. I feel the butterflies fluttering. He seems way more comfortable. He is trying to set the plate. I keep looking at him. Observing him. When he is finally done, he looks up and smiles. I smile back. He says, “Shall we start?”
I smile and try his food. He tries mine. I think I like his better. We eat peacefully and talk about his day. I think I can do this everyday.
After we are done, I take the dishes and put them in the sink. He follows me while insisting on cleaning them. I repeatedly tell him I will do them later but he tries to take them from me. He is standing very close to me and our hands touch for a brief moment. I immediately withdraw my hand. He smiles. My heart is racing. I take a step back but the refrigerator is just a step behind me. His smile widens. He starts cleaning the dishes. I want to walk to the table but his muscles and face makes my legs weak. He smells really good. His shoulders are at my eye level and I can see the T-shirt is correctly hugging his ball and socket joint. He is muscular. I don’t think I have ever dated anyone with muscles. Does he workout? I never asked him. I hardly know him and yet, drawing myself away is seeming physically impossible. He is smiling looking at the dishes because he knows I am his audience. He doesn’t interrupt me for a long time. When he is finally done, he turns his head towards me with the same smile. He rests his hands against the sink and says, “As much as I love getting looked on, I don’t think standing and looking is the right thing. If you prefer, we can sit and you may continue to stare. That way, I can look at you as well.” His smile is now curved- more to the left side.
I force a smile and nod. He turns around to walk away to the couch. I try to leave the support of the refrigerator but I slip. I didn’t realise how much I had been leaning backward. I grab his tshirt from behind to avoid falling. He doesn’t turn but takes a step backward to give me his full support. I quickly grab his shoulder with my other hand. I somehow regain balance but the touch of his shoulders run down chills in me. My right cheek falls against his back right between the hiatus formed by his shoulder blades. His arms have moved backwards to support me deepening the curvature. I don’t think I can move. If F1 race were to be hosted, at this moment, for heartbeats, I would have won.
He immediately says, “Are you fine?”
I can hear the reverberations. I say, “Huh? Yes. Urmm.. clumsy me!”
He laughs. I think I should let go of his shoulder and move my head away from that perfect curvature. A little longer won’t hurt. I think we don’t move for some noticeable seconds and then he finally moves his arms down. I let go of his shoulder. I move away. He turns around and asks, “Man! I think you should hold my t-shirt and walk with me. Haha!” He holds out a little portion at the bottom end of his t-shirt for me.
I smile and blush but I do hold his t-shirt to walk with him. I cannot trust my legs and the worst thing, right now, would be to fall.
We sit down on the couch. The proximity is killing me. I do trust him but do I trust me? He turns to me. I, too, pull my knee up to face him. He has this intense look in his eyes that’s giving me chills. Behind him is my window. For a brief second I look out. It’s getting darker. I immediately look at his wrist watch. His arm is extended and is resting on the top of the couch towards me. It is slightly away from my face. He says, “I am sorry. Should I move my hand?”
I reply, “No! I just want to check the time.”
Without moving his wrist, he peeks and says, “It is 5. Why? Am I interrupting?”
I reply, “No! Not at all. It’s getting darker. I think it is going to rain.” I look out.
He turns to follow my gaze and his fingers brush through my cheek. I feel chills. He immediately rolls them into a fist. He turns back to me and says, “Yes, I think it is.”
He looks at me while searching for more. He clearly wants to know how long I am going to let him stay.
I say, “Do you have work tomorrow? Is it getting late for you?”
He replies, “Tomorrow is a government holiday. The day after that is Saturday. So, I have three days holiday. It’s one of those lucky weeks, you can say.”
I smile and look down at my fingers. I almost whisper, “To some it is starting to seem luckiest.”
I know he heard me because he tenderly tucks away a small fringe of hair that had fallen over my face. He moves his hand back to the couch. I look up and see him smiling. I control my wild thoughts and smile back. I immediately say, “I know you don’t have a car because you call it a hassle but what do you do when it rains? Most cab drivers refuse to take rides.”
Mohit lets out a sigh and says, “Oh! Tell me about it! Those days I ride along with a colleague. He lives nearby. Sometimes I am lucky to find an autorickshaw. Also, when it pours heavily and there is no way to reach college, I simply take online classes. The University has become a lot more accommodative post-pandemic.”
I smile and say, “Online classes must be a blessing for you because you evidently workout. Why are you hiding these with those flabby shirts?” I point my index finger to his biceps.
He laughs and says, “I have to hide them. It’s not for everyone to see. In college, I have no one to impress.” He leans forward and says, “My t-shirts come out only when I want to impress someone.” He is quite close to me. I look directly into his big beautiful eyes. Why haven’t I noticed them before? They are black. Just matching the colour of his hair. I get fidgety and smile. I am clearly making things awkward. My fists are grabbing my dress. His hand on the couch has just moved closer to my shoulder. I slowly open my fists and relax my fingers. My lungs seem to have been cut-off from the oxygen supply. My heart is going to break the earlier F1 record.
Thought: You can kiss him.
Counter-thought: You shouldn’t.
Thought: Why?
Counter-thought: …
Nothing. No reason not to. Yet, I quickly slide to my side and stand up. I say, “You know, I haven’t checked my mails. You remember, I am proofreader? I think I should at least check my mail once.”
He smiles and says, “Sure! Do you mind if I see how you work?”
I am elated to see him take interest. I quickly say, “Sure!”
I leave to get my laptop. I bring it back to the couch and see him sitting with a glass of water facing forward. I switch my laptop on and tell him, “There are rules. You cannot know the name of the person because it’s confidential. Only I know the names. So close your eyes until I open the document. You may open them once I say so. No cheating!”
He says, “Haha! Wouldn’t a pinky swear to not reveal the name work better? Haha!”
I give him a serious look and he covers his eyes with his hands. I quickly open my mail. I have 3 unread emails. I open the first one and ask Mohit to read the document with me. It’s a class assignment, a book report, of about 2000 words by an English Honours student for the book Pride and Prejudice. Mohit hasn’t read it. He reads books by authors like Issac Asimov. Something I wouldn’t even accidentally pick.
We spend hours reading. The report was good but half the things just bounced from Mohit’s skin. Mohit got it all wrong. He thought it was a hate and couldn't see that how it could be a love story. I almost gave up but he insisted on arguing. It started raining somewhere in between. Finally, when it was done, I mail half of the edited version and check time. It’s 7:50. I close my laptop.
I notice our legs are touching. I look up. I feel the chills again. But he has a serious look on his face. He says, "Suhani, I have to tell you something. I haven't told this to any other soul yet. I just cannot lie to you."
I am befuddled at the polarised reaction. A moment ago, we were sharing close moments and laughs, but now, the look in his eye is making my stomach turn.
He looks down and continues, "I am in a complicated relationship with someone."
I don't know how to respond to this. My smile has turned into a frown. I have so many questions but my mouth just wouldn't open. I am in utter shock.
He continues, "I do want to get married to you. I really do. I am having an affair with a lady who is married. We met at the apartment gym. Her husband travels a lot. I know him well. I often used to help her with her household chores. We became good friends. One day, things just advanced and I regret it."
This time when he pauses, I ask, "Was it a one time thing?"
He is too ashamed to look up. He takes a long pause, sighs and says, "No!"
I have no idea what he is expecting from me. He said it is complicated and he regrets it. He wants to get married to me and yet, here he is saying that the relationship exists. I get up and walk towards the window. My eyes have welled-up. I shouldn't have let him come here. I take a deep breath to push the tears back down before I ask him, "Why haven't you ended it?"
There is a long pause. The sound of rain crashing on my window fills the room. After a minute he finally says, "In the past, I couldn't gather the courage to tell her that I am moving on. I always felt guilty in letting her think I used her."
I wanted more reasons from him. I cannot wrap my head around it. He didn't cheat on me and yet I can hear my heart break into a thousand pieces. He had given me hope. I wanted to give him a fair chance. I just have no words to say to him. I want to rip my heart out and remove any piece of it that felt anything for him.
I wipe my tears and turn around. I ask, "What do you want from me, Mohit?"
He gets up and walks towards me. He says, "I need your forgiveness. I am going to fix everything now. I just want you to know the truth." He leans to rest his forehead against mine as tears roll down his cheeks.
I cannot hold back my tears. I am hurt and angry. I want to punch him but I know nothing is going to fix the pain. I walk away from him. I move to the dining table to put as much of space between us as possible. I am crying incessantly.
I finally gather the courage to say, "Mohit, I have lived a simple and uncomplicated life. I liked the status quo in my life. I met you yesterday and, for the first time ever, I realised maybe marriage could be the next best step. The lunch today felt like something I could do everyday with you for the rest of my life."
I immediately pick my phone which was lying on the table. I book a cab for him and drop my phone on the table. I am sobbing like a baby. He stands there for a few minutes and then goes to get his shirt and bag. I pack his empty lunchbox and leave it at the table for him to pick on his way out. In a minute or two, I can see the cab pull into the driveway. I simply go and sit on the couch. He looks at me one last time and I turn my face in the opposite direction. I just hear the door to my house close.
I sit and cry for hours on end. I text my mother that I will call her tomorrow as I am tired. I lie because I cannot tell her the truth. I will simply tell her after a few days that Mohit and I weren't compatible. I know she would not force me. I think, for now, I will stick to the status quo. No more guys for a long long time now.
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